11/21/23
Starting to make these posts is like, the hardest part, I think. I don't really know what to say to start it all off!
I was up all night last night doing a transplant at work, and it went well. Some speedbumps as there usually are when you take someone's heart out and put a whole new one in, but they're one of my favorite cases to work just because of how fulfilling it is. Like, it feels so much bigger and more important than your average valve replacement or CABG, even though in my mind I know full well that these things can't really be compared back and forth. It's good work, what I do, even though the overnights are rough. I got the day off today and have been using that time to work on this site and spruce it up a bit. I think I'll send it to my friends in Discord to let them check it out... Hi guys, if you're reading this! The rest of the website is super empty, so don't look too hard!!
For the rest of the day, I don't really have any plans. I want to really sink some time into this site, mostly because I had a long talk with my therapist yesterday about the permanence of pictures. I don't like looking at pictures of myself, so I don't take them, but that becomes a problem when you want to look back on, say, what you looked like four months ago or whatever. I'm hoping keeping a consistent record like this will be a good stand-in, until I'm confident enough to show my imperfect face to myself a little more often.
Lately, I've been really enjoying some fun longform video content on YouTube. I really like DianXi XiaoGe, who makes foraging and cooking videos focusing around the food found where she lives in the west of Yunnan province, China. All the food looks so incredibly tasty, her dogs are very cute, and I can convince myself that I'm doing language immersion when I'm really just watching like, who's holding the camera for her? This is so high production but you never see who's filming or flying the drones, it's never even REFERENCED, who's BACK THERE, what the hell!!
I've been on the computer for like two hours now so I think I'm gonna go get lunch and take a walk in the cold rain. After all, one cannot live on palmiers and Trader Joe's caramelized onion dip alone.